Big Ass Brick of Holiday Soap

Big Ass Lump of Coal - Legend has it St. Nick used to reward misbehaving children with bundles of twigs, bags of salt, and strings of garlic. Considering these alternatives, a lump of fossil fuel doesn't sound half bad. Duke Cannon honors this tradition with his Big Ass Lump of Coal Soap - a premium soap formulated with activated charcoal and featuring the masculine scent of bergamot and black pepper. The perfect gift for fellows who have been a little naughty, but mostly nice.

Oops! All Brandy Homemade Eggnog - Every year Duke Cannon aims to make holiday spirits bright for his guests before they roll into town. Dragging the decorations down from the attic, scaling the roof to string lights across every eave and dormer, and finally, preparing his homemade eggnog — this being the annual favorite of his brother-in-law Gary, who usually ends each night of his over-extended stay with multiple helpings of no egg, no nog, just a two-finger pour of brandy.

Mall Santa's Cough Syrup - Duke Cannon isn't a big fan of wearing costumes, but he'll make an exception around the holidays. Like in December of '03 when Kris Kringle's local stand-in stumbled up to the mall with his beard askew and a case of the brown bottle flu. Duke Cannon booted that cotton-headed ninny muggins from his throne of lies, and proceeded to don St. Nick's uniform himself, saving a cherished holiday tradition and countless youngsters from a sleigh-load of childhood trauma. Inspired by this incident, Mall Santa's Cough Syrup Soap smells like The North Pole and peppermints, not beef and cheese.

Rudolph's Much Deserved Night Cap - "Rudolph was rather warn out from guidin' Santa's sleigh all night. So, The Big Man and Rudolph threw back a few shots post-flight." Rudolph works hard during the holidays. He deserves a few minutes of respite after a long day, so we’ve created Rudolph’s Much Deserved Night Cap, a festive soap with the scent of Toasted Cinnamon and antique wood that compliments his favorite nightly beverage of cinnamon schnapps.

 Illegally Cut Pine - a practice we wholeheartedly discourage but imagine smells pretty nice. Avoid the misdemeanor trespassing charge and embrace the freshest scent of the season.